


Divine Simulacrum

by avesnongrata



Series: Maria/Natasha Ficlet Collection [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 06:23:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19941652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avesnongrata/pseuds/avesnongrata
Summary: Maria messes up. Natasha gets even.





	Divine Simulacrum

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted all in one piece from tumblr. Thanks to sugarfey for the prompts!

Natasha looks up as Maria walks through the door of the restaurant. Perhaps 'walk' isn't quite the right word - with one thumb tucked into her front pocket and the other hooked around the strap of the bag on her shoulder, Maria Hill doesn't so much _walk_ as _swagger_ her way across the room to the table where Natasha is waiting. It's the kind of stride that can make senior agents snap to attention and rookies wet themselves if caught off guard. Her indomitable bearing was one of the first things that attracted Natasha to her, and even years later it never fails to take Natasha's breath away.

Maria sets her bag down and pulls out the empty chair across from Natasha. "Sorry I'm late."

_Ah._

Natasha takes the stabbing disappointment that knots her stomach and turns it into a wry half-smile. Hooking her ankle around the leg of the chair, she pulls it back to the table before Maria can sit down. "Yeah, I don't think so."

"Nat, what's—"

Natasha shakes her head. "Nice try, Soren. You really nailed the walk this time. Much better than last week."

'Maria's' shoulders slump. "What gave me away?"

Later, when Natasha isn't quite so annoyed, she'll admit to finding Soren's dismay endearing.

"Hill doesn't apologize for being late."

"Huh." Soren has the decency to shift her features - just a little, so no one else in the room will notice - to look less like Maria Hill and more like some nondescript stranger she must've passed on the street earlier. "You're right. She's kind of a jerk like that, isn't she?"

Natasha's jaw clenches. "That's one word for it."

"I blame Fury. He seems to rub off on anyone who spends too much time with him. Before we met him, Talos never used to—" The fond smile drains from her face as Natasha continues to stare her down in stony silence.

"I'm just gonna..." Soren cocks a thumb towards the door. 

"That'd be wise," Natasha agrees.

Soren bends to retrieve her bag from the floor. She turns to go but pauses mid-retreat to glance back at Natasha over her shoulder. "Don't be too hard on her, okay? It was my idea to try a sim today."

Natasha says nothing. She waits long enough for Soren to hurry out of the restaurant, tail between her legs, before tossing a few bills onto the table and making a break for it herself.

* * *

"You left."

There's a hint of ire in Maria's voice when she finally tracks Natasha down the next morning.

Natasha doesn't bother to look up from the tablet in her hands. "Can't say I was in the mood to stick around for a date with someone who'd rather send a Skrull in her place."

She knows that making snide remarks is a surefire way to shorten the fuse on Maria's temper, but she does it anyway.

As predicted, Maria crosses her arms and scoffs. "Don't make me out to be the bad guy here. You know it was Fury's idea to train Talos and Soren to fill in for us from time to—"

"Was it his idea for them to fill in for _dates_ , Maria?" Natasha snaps, fixing her with a glare so intense that Maria's mouth falls open and her weight shifts back on her heels. 

She furrows her brow, and for a moment Natasha is sure she's going to try to argue with her. Finally, Maria - undoubtedly the real Maria this time - lets her shoulders slump. Later, when Natasha's not quite so annoyed, she'll admit that Soren nailed that bit of body language too.

"No," Maria sighs. "That was a bad call. I'm sorry."

"You can be a real asshole sometimes. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

The way Maria scrunches her nose in contrition snuffs out Natasha's anger like cool water quenching hot steel. She never could manage to stay mad at her for long.

"How'd she do, though?" Maria pries, unable to resist even after being so soundly reprimanded.

Natasha chuckles despite herself. "She did really well, actually. She even did that thing you do with your pockets."

"Like this?" Maria tucks her thumb into her pocket and juts her hip to the side, looking every inch the cocksure lesbian she is at heart. 

The eyebrow she raises in challenge quickens Natasha's pulse, but she covers it by rolling her eyes.

"It's a good thing you're so hot."

"Yeah, I know," Maria smirks as her hands find Natasha's hips. "I'll make it up to you?"

When Maria coaxes her closer, Natasha doesn't hesitate to fit herself up against her body. She reaches up to stroke the short hair at the back of Maria's neck.

"I know you will." 

* * *

The persistent rumbling in Maria's stomach grows harder and harder to ignore. Luckily, she's just reached the last page of the report she's perusing. As if on cue, familiar fingers card through the hair at the nape of her neck before coming to rest on her shoulder.

"Hey, you." Natasha's voice is low, her lips nearly brushing Maria's ear. "Any chance you can take a break soon?"

The warmth of Natasha's body leaning against her back chases all thoughts of lunch out of Maria's mind. "I can probably get away for a little bit, yeah."

"Good. Roof? Five minutes?"

Maria gives a curt nod and ostensibly returns her attention to the report in front of her. With a lingering stroke of fingertips across Maria's shoulder blades, Natasha disappears off down the hallway.

Maria takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, beginning to count back from one hundred. The last few lines of the report grate on her patience. She's not so much reading them as staring at them distractedly as she lets Natasha take her head start. This is a game they've played before. 

Her countdown reaches _three_ , _two_ – she pushes back from her desk and heads for the elevator as fast as her nonchalant strides will take her. The ride up to the top floor of the building is the longest minute and a half of her day so far.

This part of the roof is by no means glamorous - an emergency exit door, a rattling HVAC vent, a few cigarette butts left behind by irresponsible employees - but it is almost always deserted this time of day. By the time Maria steps out into the early afternoon sunlight, Natasha is already there waiting for her. She steps close into the circle of Maria's eager arms, but when Maria leans in to kiss her, she stops her with a teasing finger to her lips.

"Not yet," Natasha murmurs. "I have a surprise for you."

Maria groans and bites her lower lip, but she doesn't argue. They've played this game before, too.

With a sly wink and mischief dancing in her eyes, Natasha slips back through the door into the building. A moment later there's a scrape and a thud. Maria realizes too late that it's the sound of the lock sliding into place. She tugs hard on the handle, but the door doesn't budge.

"Nat, come on, this isn't funny. What's—"

A second figure joins Natasha behind the pane of shatterproof glass.

_Oh, sonofa—_

The lips Maria very nearly kissed a moment before begin to change shape and color, quickly settling into grey-green above a rugose chin. All trace of vibrant red hair vanishes, leaving behind smooth skin and elongated ears.

"Sorry," Soren mouths, wincing.

Beside her, the actual Natasha Romanoff props a triumphant elbow on poor Soren's shoulder. "Karma's a bitch, Hill."

"You don't say," Maria grits through clenched teeth.

"When you think you've learned your lesson, I'll see you downstairs." Natasha turns to leave, ushering Soren back toward the elevator with her.

Maria yanks harder at the door. She even manages to rattle it in its frame, but it remains securely locked. "Very funny. How am I supposed to—"

"Oh, don't be such a baby" Natasha waves a hand dismissively, then gestures vaguely to the roof behind Maria. "Do you really think I'd leave you up here with no way to get down?"

Confused, Maria turns to look behind her. Her stomach drops. There, propped against the far ledge, is a large coil of rope and a bag of climbing gear.

"You can't be serious."

But Natasha and Soren have already vanished. Maria heaves a defeated sigh and rakes a hand through her hair.

"She's lucky I love her," she grumbles as she readies herself for her climb.


End file.
